A Gift for the Soul

Last night I dreamed about fall.

Sometimes when we dream about certain things all we see are images that flash before our eyes. It's as if we aren't a part of the dream at all, but an external force watching - observing it all play out but not really experiencing the dream first hand.

This is usually the form that my dreams take... but not this time. Last night I walked through glorious seas of oranges, yellows and reds. I don't even remember where I was or who I was with. I just remember being completely speechless by the sight of the trees overhead, in awe of the colors that they had become since I last saw them. I remember begging my companions to stop and marvel for a little while with me, trying to convince them of the beauty surrounding us.

Oh how I miss fall. I miss watching nature change all around me, sometimes going through the miraculous change in a matter of days without anyone noticing.

"Since when has that tree been bright orange?"

Sigh. What an incredible reminder that our God is a God who orchestrates change. Through His own constancy, He keeps the promise that He will never leave us the same, that He will "continue the good work He began in us and bring it to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

I know the same is true of my own heart. Though I can get easily frustrated with the familiarity of sin, of darkness and of pain, I can place my hope in the fact that the Lord is indeed changing me, though I don't notice the slow, day-to-day changes.

And then one day I will wake up and realize that I am not the same person I once was. That my heart which was once riddled with sin is now a little more like Jesus'... much like the gorgeous tree of oranges and reds, more glorious and more beautiful than it ever was.

The Point of the Matter.

What quantifies a "good and successful life?" Is it working a fun, high-paying job? Is it having a loving family and tons of friends? Is it having a good body and capturing the attention of all members of the opposite sex? Is it that you have never experienced the pain of death or loss?

What does it mean to have a "bad and unsuccessful life?" Is your life "unsuccessful" if you're materially poor? If you struggle making friends? If you wear a size 16 instead of a size 4?

And, for that matter, if your life is "bad," how do you make it "good"? Is that even really in your power? If you just lost those extra 40 pounds or got a new job in New York City would that mean that you are (or should be) happy?

I have really been thinking a lot about this concept of chasing a "better life" lately. It seems that everyone I talk to is trying to do just that (myself included):

"If only I could get that internship... I would love to be married... I have been saving up for that new car"

Now, are desiring these things in and of themselves bad? Not in the slightest (well, sometimes... we should probably not desire someone to drop dead). That being said, I really think that we're not giving these things their due credit as it relates to our self-worth or our security.

What are we really saying when we state our profound hatred for our present stage of life and our desire for something different? We're hoping that we'll waltz right in on our first day of that new job and feel... like we have arrived. Like that's what happiness is supposed to feel like. Like finally we can breathe a deep sigh of relief and allow ourselves to enjoy life. Finally.

But here's the thing: I have started many a new job. I have traveled the globe. I have lost (and gained) those however many pounds and I can tell you that I am starting to agree more and more with the wise words of Solomon:

"Everything (we are chasing) is meaningless..."

The point is that no matter where we go or what we do, there will always be hard things to life and things that we desire. I will never stop wanting more out of my experience here. If it's not one thing it's another... If I get married I will just want a kid. If I have that kid I will just want a bigger house to put that kid (and husband) in. If I get that big house I will just want to leave said house and go on a massive trip around the world. If I go on that trip I will undoubtably hate it after awhile and want to come back home, only to begin planning my next trip to Australia or Africa for the next year...

I think you get the point.

Don't get me wrong, I struggle with this concept on a daily basis. I swear my name should be "Lauren 'always wanting the next thing' Januzik." That being said, the truth that I have had it all wrong is starting to sink in...

This is the truth that we will never be satisfied with this life because we weren't ever supposed to be. Everything in this life is supposed to remind us that we were created for something more. We don't belong here. For those who are in Christ, we are called "strangers and aliens in this world." It's no accident things this side of Heaven don't (and can't) satisfy. We were created with a longing that can ONLY (and I do mean only) be satisfied by our Savior.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if I get everything I want or if I don't. I don't ever want to stop being reminded of the hope I have in that day of redemption... that day when I will gaze upon the face of my Father and fall to my knees knowing that it was all worth the sufferings of my former life.

The point, my friends, is that we need Jesus. Life is hard... there is death and suffering and deep, deep pain. The point to life is not to have a "good one." The point is that this life is a reminder that by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, we can live knowing that after we leave this world, we will never shed another tear of sadness or live with an unfulfilled longing. On that day we will live truly free from pain, content just praising the name of our Father for eternity.

What an incredible day that will be.