I don't know about you, but I want a deep dish.

Sometimes I feel like I'm screaming at the top of my lungs, "Oh world! If you only knew what you could be living for!!," only to feel like I'm choking on some thick syrup and drowning in the fact that everyone is ignoring me. I feel crushed by the weight of their brokenness and pain, pain that is unfortunately so skillfully masked by a false sense of love and security. The world is settling, that's for sure. Jesus said himself that the woman at the well was drinking from a stagnant water source when she could be drinking from "living water," the best water source of the time. He was of course speaking about himself, metaphorically. Why on earth would you settle for a frozen pizza when you could have a Chicago deep dish? (Somehow food items always make the best analogies)

The more I get to know Jesus and the more He has blessed me with discernment, the more I see the reality of the fact that I have been eating frozen pizza for the majority of my life. Sure, I was more than content by it, since it was all I ever knew. My source of joy (did I even know what that was?) came from friends, boys, whether I looked cute that day, if I got a good grade on a test, whether or not I was in school (weekends are greeeaaattt). And sure, most people would say, "well what's the matter with that? Aren't those things supposed to make you happy?" The answer is sure, I suppose. But what's wrong with them? Probably more than you think. What happens when I get a bad grade on a test? What happens when I somehow lose my willpower to eat lettuce and gain a pound or two? What happens when boys stop looking my way or when my friends are too busy to hang out? What then?

The answer is simple- I get depressed. I get angry. I wonder what the heck I am living for since all of things are so conveniently (or not so) faulty. The world is not equipped to give me joy! What then??? The answer is simple (or, depending on who you are, not simple at all). We were created for something more. I know what you're thinking... "oh, she's talking about God." Fine. But let's say that i'm not for a second. Wouldn't you agree that there HAS to be more? There just has to be! Were we just created with the intent that we will always be chasing after fleeting happiness, for things to fill us and give us a purpose when they really cant? I used to think that getting married would solve all of my problems. If only I had a husband... THEN I would feel beautiful. THEN I would feel accomplished. THEN I would be joyful. Right??? Wrong. My husband is human and is no more equipped to handle my insecurities than I am. Bless this unknown man's heart! What is a guy to do when he is responsible for my joy and security and he forgets to kiss me goodbye in the morning?? Lord help him.

I guess what i'm really saying is, I'd like to think that there is something more than the depressing idea that we were just meant to live for things that will constantly (and consistently, for that matter) let us down. And I would ALSO like to think that the pain and hurt and brokenness that I feel when I walk this earth is not all there is. How horrible would it be if someone told me at the end of my time on earth that I've lived all there is to live, I've loved all there is to love, and I've experienced all there is to experience?

My heart and soul cries out, "NO!!" that is not reality. That is not truth. That is NOT what life was intended for. You can't deny that it was intended for something more... and if you do, I am deeply, truly sorry. Real life and real love cannot possibly exist without something more. And that something is Jesus. He is the man who was manifested in the humility of God, a man who walked this earth brokenhearted about the perfection that could have been, replaced by the horrific atrocity that is our reality. He was perfect... a man who was fully God, sent from the kingdom, to save us from this world. He came to fulfill one mission, so that we may experience life and love and peace and joy outside what this world can provide. He came so that we may know HIM, so that we may one day escape this earth where we walk as foreigners and return to the place we were created for.

He came so that we may proclaim His hame and His grace, and not live for ourselves anymore. I can't possibly earn this gift. What have I to offer God for it? Absolutely nothing. I am just as foul as the world I live in, and therefore couldn't possibly do anything to deserve that big, beautiful, delicious deep dish pizza. Yet I stand in awe of the fact that somehow, in light of this world of frozen pizzas, my stomach is full with Chicago-style Jesus.

The only question is, won't you join me?